where MY head is at today ...

i miss my Ocean...

Soon, VERY SOON!!!

She says it better than i ...

Happy SUNDAY Y'ALL!!!

I hope you had a good weekend as well...

resting today,

getting ready for my Work Week... {can I just tell you HOW happy I am that I can say that...I know that seems CRAZY but its the truth!}

Today's Agenda

a little bloggin'

a little exercise

dinner at moms later with CeCe ~ SOOOO LOVE her cooking and then leaving with leftovers :)

then some true blood

and SLEEP!

I look forward to what NEXT week has in store for me

   ...YES PEOPLE this normally "black little cloud" just did Blog, think, AND feel THAT ... 

HA!!!

Ciao for now...

... i guess I'm still processing it all ...

good friend going to take me out tonight and have some fun...

it's MY friday today!

... thinking of YOU, Hosani ....

Final Lunch Break Song ...

NOW ... back to work for real!



it's a William Day...

back to work ...

ba da pom ba da pom ...

 i guess its just one of those days ...

i WILL find a way to be more GRATEFUL for what I DO have and NOT what I Don't ....

from tonight's sunset in Phx., AZ

taken by Allan Jamisen

only the gods know how much I miss my forehead kisses...

Knuckles or should I say paws ... ?

but some how... some way,

i STILL have ...

paws...

I'm GRUMPY ...

AND

...... it's MONDAY!!!!!!!

.... right now.. My life makes as much sense as this post...

it DOESN'T.

“I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim.”

~ Frida Kahlo

AND ...

thank the GODS I do not have to work today...

Happy Friday!!!!!

... will KEEP Dreaming of ...

heaven is in your eyes

.... insomnia

in a

PARTY DRESS ...

Where will YOU be when I wake?

doing last of my excercises before bed ... Ayo!

and a little bit more ...

one day/night ...

I'll GROW UP ...

no words...

Sending Good Vibes out
 to the WORLD!!!

Final thoughts for tonight ...

“You will always be loved, and you will always be in love with love.”

~ Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

“Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart.”                                      
                                             ~ Yann Martel, Life of Pi

... I remember when I used to describe You as "the Love of My life" as Well ...

LIFE with LOVE .. it IS a tempestuous mistress isn't it?

but then again it was my EGo you feed

and not my soul.

Note to Self:

This Week has kicked MY ass in more ways than one ...

"I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim."

~ Frida Kahlo

“The awful thing is that beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and the devil are fighting there and the battlefield is the heart of man {woman}.”

~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

good NIght

XXOOXOOOXOOXOOXO

and my reading ...

I WILL focus on the Little {BIG} that IS positive

and

I will stay physically strong

if I cannot make the grade MENTALLY!!!

the cards ....

too much to blogg about in detail just yet...STILL processing everything

“Walk tall, kick ass, learn to speak Arabic, love music and never forget you come from a long line of truth seekers, lovers and warriors.”
   ~ the Birthday Boy himself: Hunter S. Thompson

and

People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances without own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.”
     ~ Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

now to slip into something a little bit more comfortable...

“I must tell you that I should really like to think there’s something wrong with me- Because, if there isn’t, then there’s something wrong with the world itself-and that’s much more frightening! That would be terrible. So I’d rather believe there is something wrong with me, that could be put right.”
                                                   ~ T.S. Eliot, The Cocktail Party

Reg is taking me out to Scottsdale tonight - he is a great wing man & I did have a great time the last time we went there but I am sooo not in the mood...
but I guess I should GET in the Mood and see if I can't figure some of this shit out!
Here's to ALL of us having a good night {or day, for my friends on the other side of the Globe!} 

Ciao!!

okay this is me acknowledging the positive

I think I got a Job and an even better one than the one I had interviewed for last week... I interviewed for this one back in Jan. funny enough!
I fill out paperwork on MOnday & start a full day, Tuesday!

THIS is BRILLIANT News!!!

it has been my

handful of happy

 and has been my "go to" for ALL of the stupid shit that has been happening lately {car, bills/eating/drinking/living,computer blah blah blah}...

BUt with my New Job all this will PASS...see my handful of happy

it is what is helping me to NOT get {too} down...

CHEERS to getting New JOB! 

P.S.

“Don’t ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance, or my kindness for weakness.”

~ Carson Kolhoff


Smiles

Life - it is a VERY strange ride

but I'm not getting off the ride just YET!

I have realized in the last few days I'm NOT missin out on SHIT!

 in fact,

I may just be one of the Lucky Ones....

i wish you luck {& your gonna need it}, as LIFE/LOVE is nothing like what you have imagined (or been living thus far)

Buckle in! Cause your ride has already started and YOU can't stop it NOW ...

“We all fear death and question our place in the universe. The artist’s job is not to succumb to despair, but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.”

       ~ Gertrude Stein, Midnight in Paris

NEED to remember...

okay, OKAY...
after hanging out on Saturday...

i will admit it ...

I miss your voice, 

your smile,
your Lips,
your laugh,

the way YOU make me laugh,

how you used to hold my hand.

the feel of your finger tips on the small of my back...

     

simply put...

I

miss

   you...



{but im NOT tellin...}

tomorrow nite

will make up for the last few ...

ugh ...

yes its 4am and I just got home and am going to BED with ...

it was an interesting nite,

but I am still so far from home.

where ever THAT is...?

Im gonna go and PLAY!!!!!

okay job Interview went "well," I think...
I mean I did not ramble, as I do when I am nervous,
I smiled the whole time...which is also something I do not do when I am nervous!
I will find out NEXT monday...so keep me in your GOOD thoughts people as I REALLY need this job!

I did some stuff around the house that I had been putting off
and I got my Blind Pilot Ticket for Monday Night's SHow (i missed them the 1st time they came to town so I am beyond Stoked that i get to go to this one...) plus I get to go with some good friends which makes it even BETTER!

Tonight I am off to Sticky Fingers which is at a club down town that PLAYS amazing music and usually has a GREAT mix of people. I took a nap so I could keep up with everyone as it goes till the wee hours usually, but that is okay because I NEED to dance because I didn't do my leg lifts just my crunches & push ups, SO I MUST go dancing!!!!

AND

last but not least, I am keeping my fingers, toes etc. crossed that next weekend happens as it fell through last time... i do not want to jinx myself so I will keep my lips/key strokes sealed until it gets closer

I better go so I can finish getting ready for tonight!

I hope WE ALL have a GREAT nite and have to message our friends tomorrow with precious moments such as this...

  CHEERS!!!!!!

I have a job interview tomorrow

wish me luck?!

where is my ... ?

MIND!?!??!

heart ... {do I have one of those anymore?}

....

more importantly,

where am I ?

and finally, for me...

good night...

oh and happy 4th..

but I get it... that I should be saying Im Sorry to not only ALL Native Americans but every afro american that was brought here NOT of their free will...

when you learn "real" or should I say factual american history,

 such days are really memorials...

soooo did not mean to be the bummer.....

but My "Family" did not come to the states until the 1920's...

and we were swedes...not exactly high on the food chain back then....

THANK YOU to:

My Grand Pa Nyquist for his service in Korea & the loss of his 1st son's life in Vietnam,

  My Ex Husband and his service

& 

the sacrifice of ALL soldier's & their families,

if you were true of heart at the time of your death, you are nothing if NOT noble ...

PEACE!!!!!!

Ode to who/what does NOT exist in my life right now...

with that said so well by Tracy,

allow me to let her finish my final thought for tonight ...



and F*ckin' harder to get USED To...!

... will be seeing them on the 10th of July,
 Stoked!