The END.

Forward march...

 

“This was never a place I was meant to be. This isn’t a place for me.”

 

~ Haruki Murakami, "A Slow Boat to China"

or rather, "Forward FLY"

I'm sad

And I'm just gonna have to deal with it.....

Life can just simply SUCK no matter how hard you try to make it not so......

 

We are out....

And so am i

LOST in translation....

 

I will use the weekend to FIND my courage ...

AGAIN

 

 

Got it Oz?

Rumi

“You were born with potential You were born with goodness and trust
You were born with ideals and dreams You were born with greatness
You were born with wings
You are not meant for crawling, so don’t. You have wings
Learn to use them and fly.”

 



this is REALLY how I feel....

“I’m not sure which is worse: intense feeling, or the absence of it.”

~ Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

 

 

BUT

 

 

I know this is REALLY what I need to be saying to myself:

 

 

“Hang in there. It is astonishing how short a time it can take for very wonderful things to happen.”  

 

~ Frances Hodgson Burnett

 



I'm trying to hang TOUGH!

Tell me WHY??????

 

Had SUCH an AMAZING Weekend

 AND yet.... 

I am having just an AMAZINGLY SHITTY ~ Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I KNOW.... i know, I'm supposed to stay positive

but

inside

this is how I feel:

 ....I know I know-

THIS too shall pass

but not f*ckin' SOON ENOUGH!

Got ME?!?!??!?

Weekend UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Totally spaced that my BEST-EST Friend in ALL of the UNIVERSE

is in town starting tonight

and she is COMING with me to the McDowell Mtn Music Festival w/The ROOTS/The Shins/Deertick etc., etc!!!!

 

 

I am OVER the MOON

with Happiness

 

i never wanted a sister, as my brother and I did not get a long & growing up I saw all of my girl friends FIGHT tooth & nail with their sisters over a curling iron

BUT SHIRA

she is a GOOD melon a Stellar Melon!

I should be so LUCKY to come from her gene pool

 

but she loves my Swedish Mutt Ass

and I LOVE her for it

always and

FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!

 

even with everything going on

I am ONE HAPPY GIRL!!!!

I am ready to have

one Hell of a weekend dancing, laughing with friends

, listening to AMAZING music day & NIGHT all while wetting my whistle (light rail here we come!)

 

sometimes LIFE is just so fuckin' BRILLIANT!!!

 

go out there and get YOUR HAPPY on!!!

 



I will be doing something about this in T-minus 3hrs & 42minutes...

Happy Friday, ALL!!

One thing i do know is I will be dancin my ass off to this group Sat NIGHT:

here's to ALL of us having a good weekend sans any brushes with the po po...

Cheers!!!!



The way I feel towards the WORLD right now....

Please note: I am the Cat & "the World" is the dog...

I leave you with this for tonight:

“‘You,’ he said, ‘are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.’”

~ Emilie Autumn

T-minus 47minutes until I'm outta here

I am soo done with THIS day!

Question for the day ....

“Is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?”

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

...more like the last THREE WEEKS, in my case...

What I LOVE ...

“‘I think about your thighs,’ {S}he wrote in the second letter, ‘and the warm, moist smell of your skin in the morning, and the tiny eyelash in each corner of your eye that I always notice when you first roll over to look at me. I don’t know why you are better and more beautiful than anybody else. I don’t know why your body is something I can’t stop thinking about, why those little flaws and ridges on your back are lovely to me or why the pale soft bottoms of your New Jersey feet that always wore shoes are more poignant than any other feet, but they are. I thought I would have more time to chart your body, to map its poles, its contours and terrains, its inner regions, both temperate and torrid - a whole topography of skin and muscle and bone. I didn’t tell you, but I imagined a lifetime as your cartographer, years of exploration and discovery that would keep changing the look of my map. It would always need to be redrawn and reconfigured to keep up with you. I’m sure I’ve missed things, Bill, or forgotten them, because half the time I’ve been wandering around your body blind drunk with happiness. There are still places I haven’t seen.’”

~ Siri Hustvedt & {me}, "What I Loved"

My Version....

The Reality of the "Self " does not consist in the Head & the Body but in the SPACE within to be lived in.

                                                                                               ~ MZ's take on Laotse Poem

Ode to Oz

Haruki Murakami's words can ONLY save me from mySELF today...

“Wherever there’s hope there’s a trial.”

~ Haruki Murakami

TRUTH

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

"Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift."

~ Mary Oliver, “The Uses of Sorrow”

seriously, what I LEARNED about me & YOU has been a gift.

شكرا

thoughts for today...

“One can’t build little white picket fences to keep nightmares out.”

~ Anne Sexton

and this little gem:

“Now let the night be dark for all of me.
Let the night be too dark for me to see
Into the future. Let what will be, be.”

~ Robert Frost

YOU always show me better than you can say ...

see YOU tonight,

Mister! ;)

see YOU later tonight, Handsome!

i was a good girl 

&

 it made me feel good, to be good;

for goods sake.

HE has earned that much from me

&

frankly,

 so have I -- for myself!

 

F*ck it !!!!

I'm gonna do the right thing
And keep my legs closed!

Even if I end up as the chump on the other end!

Finally

“Your love
Should never be offered to the mouth of a stranger,
Only to someone who has the valor and daring
To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife
Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you.”

~Hafiz

 

THIS is exactly what I HAVE in YOU

 

I cannot say it enough:

"MANY Thanks!!!!"

&

YOU

are appreciated more than I can say {blog}

 

XOXOXO

 

 

 

 

Ahhhhh What a WONDERFUL distraction YOU are!!!!

 

 

 

...please, DON'T Stop?!?!?

 

many smiles

XOXOXOO

Sent to me by a friend...

I made SUCH a huge mistake, FUCK UP, whatever you would like to call it on Feb 24th!!
I am STILL having a hard time wrapping my little pee brain around what I have done...
and

the consequences of it have ONLY just begun

"STOP!...don't go there" says ME

and then I get this sent to me:

much LOVE

Today is my Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and this is ALL i have on my mind....

T-minus 3.5 hrs

just sayin'

T-Minus 48minutes...

the ONLY thing on my mind...

AND i fear,

 the ONLY thing that can get me out of this

 FUNK!
6pm canNOT come fast enough!!!!!



I'm tryin'...

Tonight, I have A LOT of conversating to do with YOU!!!

My Monday SUCKED until....

my friend sent me these....

this little guy's mission in life is to...





 

find flowers and bring them home...

you ROCK little guy, YOU ROCK!

I guess "some" things are getting back to normal cause....

YOU are back on my MIND 24/7....

I hope to wrap my long legs around your beautiful body at some point this weeknd!!!



Best statement I have read in a while....Love YOU Margaret Atwood

Question:

“What is your favorite word?”

Answer:

“ And. It is so hopeful. ”

~ An interview with Margaret Atwood

This weekend I will find & hold on tight to my AND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

things make SUCK in my life right now but

that doesn't mean I have to...

this weekend's mission:

HEAPS of BELLY laughs, Dancing &

spending time w/GREAT friends!!

THAT is what my sad soul NEEDS & that is what it shall get

Cheers ALL!!! 

Thank the GODS its MY Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MUST remember....

“I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.” 

~ Frida Kahlo

gentle reminder to my soul....

"One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing’s perfect. Perfection simply doesn’t exist. The cosmos had taken its first step toward the beautiful place it is today all thanks to irregularity, imperfections and luck of order. So the next time someone complains that you have made a mistake, tell him that may be a good thing. Because without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist."
                                                               ~ Stephen Hawking

Breathe... just BREATHE

I know I have posted this quote before but TODAY, it plays on a loop in my head today...


“It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days…Lightly, lightly—it’s the best advice ever given me. So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly, my darling.”
                                                                                    ~ Aldous Huxley

It's ALL i got right now but I THINK it may be just enough to get me through....

even with everything that is happening YOU make me feel like this...

Please KNOW how MUCH I appreciate YOU

 

and for  that matter

ALL of MY friends

that are helping me thru this...

 

if u know what is up, YOU mean a GREAT deal to me
 as I would NEVER bear my "under belly" to those I do not trust...

 

even at this time

i KNOW i am blessed because i have Y'all in my life.

 

PEACE out!

for the one who has been keeping me sane....

“When I am with you, there is nowhere else I’d rather be.

And I am a person who always wants to be somewhere else.”

~ David Levithan

 

trying to put "things" into the Bigger Picture ....

“I said to the sun, “Tell me about the big bang.”
The sun said, “It hurts to become.”

~ Andrea Gibson

“Normal is an illusion.
What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.”
~ Morticia Addams