För att hedra min familj ...

 verkligen min underbara farfar Nyquist, som jag älskade högt

Lycklig Valborgsmässoafton ... Jag vet att jag är lite sent men jag hoppas att någon tänt en brasa för mig ikväll hålla drakar bort!! Jag kommer att dansa för oss i morgon kväll!

Kärlek & saknar dig morfar

Jag vet att du seglar haven en fri och lycklig man ...

Actually,....

THEY are BOTH broken...& NEITHER is really, ok.

THEY Lie to themselves, others & each other.

NOTHING i want nor envy

nothing.

Word!

H.T.Z. KISS my Ass

لديك بوضوح أي فكرة عما كنت قد فقدت في لي ولكن سوف لك ....

when a man show's his TRUE colors that is when a woman needs to decide "to go to him" or "to GO"...
                                                i left.

hmmm....

so true,
but then why do we THINK we see ourselves so clearly from the person Who doesn't seem to care about us at all...

 

вопрос

Для моих русских выглядывает ... Как мой русский язык? потому что мне повезло быть в состоянии общаться на английском языке! Много улыбается Ваш путь

i guess it is up to ME to change this...

but tonight i will stay home 

 I have an amazing show to go to on Tuesday night so I need to save my pennies for drinking then...

i am soooooooo over watching every cent i ever get but I do not see an end to that any time soon but this too shall pass.

to counter act my crappy awakening...

P.S.

you WILL regret neglecting everything and everyone else for what you know is your VERY Cold End!!!!

يرجى ملاحظة أنا لا يرغبون في هذا لكم ولكن كما نعرف أنفسنا هذه هي الحقيقة القاسية

Peace Out!

just sayin...

maybe it's not always about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it's about starting over and creating something even better....  ~ unkown

Question to the Universe:

How is it possible that I have been blessed with the ability to make pretty things with my hands but not with my heart {and mind for that matter}...?

Пожалуйста, дайте мне найти способ ...

New goal ...

My fear:  I feel like the only way that is possible is by figuring out how I failed at it thus far

cue the Dead...      

I've drowned myself...

It’s not that I wait for you, it’s that my arms are doors I cannot close.

                                     ~Derrick Brown

                                    that is still on the Wish List ... a perfect place of sleep.

“From any rational point of view I am absurd; but there are no longer any rational points of view.”                          ―   Margaret Atwood

note to Self as I try & sleep...

i forgot a HUGE one from today's List...

MUSIC

my life long Soul Mate.

things are STILL Shitty but...

I am going back to what has worked in the past...
I will actively appreciate the LITTLE things that are Good in a day/night...{shit who am I kidding...} in an hour/minute...
and try to STOP obsessing on ALL and i do mean ALL of the Bad that is happening in & out of my mind/life/the world!!!

i must find a way to:

today's list:
the weather has been phenomenal today,
 i love my dog & cat and THEY love me,
I love my mom,
 I have some REALLY amazing friends ~Shout OUT to Lisa Smith!!!
 and Reggie & Friends as they are taking me out tonight to cheer me up and send one of our tribe off to Colorado,
 I love my little apt.
I still enjoy working out & I am proud of myself for keeping up with it even when I am feeling like this.
                                                       f*ck...this shit works cause:

I know I am lucky in many ways and I NEED to focus on that!

wish me luck...

That would be MY mind...

p.s. Hosani Kiss my ASS!

yes I am still Up and Brooding....

please let this be good night.............................................................

I will try this sleep thing again.....

I put my head on my pillow with this final thought:

Je vais le dire en français de sorte qu'il sonne mieux ...
comme nous le savons tous tout sonne mieux en français ...

Je nous souhaite à tous bonne nuit de sommeil, mais pour moi, j'espère que je ne me réveille pas ....
Je veux me confesser: je n'ai pas réussi à bien des égards ... lors de cette phase de la vie en particulier et je ne peux qu'espérer que mes amis hindous sont à droite et que je serai un meilleur être humain, quand j'arrive à revenir ... peut-être comme un cafard, mais S'il vous plaît pas moi, S'il vous plaît ne pas ME!!

Undo editsи мои русские друзья ... , который потерял много в этот день на Чернобыльской ... Я имею в виду никакого неуважения в мой личный партия жалости
Пусть все невинно в покое

Please, Wine

                                                     and good Music, put me to bed...
                                                                        and
                                          put me OUT of my misery FOR tonight @ least !!!!!!

Dear My Life...

 Too!!

yeah TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

F**********CK

this

DAY!!

Your on Notice Tomorrow- Shit better get BETTER!!!

or at least bearable

Pretty PLEASE ?!?!?

my music for slumber

CHROMATICS / KILL FOR LOVE (Complete Album)

i must confess My life is SHITTY enough ...

ummm Yeah That would be ME!?!?!

good Luck with things.

as YOU will definitely NEED the luck

but, I 'm OUT!

note to self:

i thought I would feel better INSIDE when karma actually caught up to him... but I am a little taken a back by the fact that, I Really do NOT... just makes me sad for you and what is yet to come....BUT sooo happy it is NOT me, Been There and done That! 


now that I got that off my mind...

and SLEEP!!!


Good Night!

Boa Sorte ...

para todos nós

Yes,
          so why is this so true....?

C'est La Vie....

                                              ... But, it doesn't make me wrong either...

وأتساءل من هو التعويذة، لك أو له؟

                                         ولكن، أنا آسف على ما يوشك أن يأتي ...

يرعاك

I feel ya in OOOOOooohhh so many ways...

...and SCENE!



went to bed feeling like shite...

 woke up feeling like shite.

               ....and I dont foresee a change anytime soon.

arghhhhhhh

Last NIGHT was Fun

I laughed.

I danced.

I smiled

and

I let it GO!!!!




last night was really fun and officer free, Thank the Gods!

CHEERS!!!!

    "...ruin is a gift.
       Ruin is the road to transformation..."

Hur sover du på natten?

god natt

Ohhh And Happy Birthday April Beauchamp Bouise!!!
xooxooxoo
sisters forerver!!!

Happy Friday!!!

 I have been such a "Debbie Downer" lately

I felt this way Wed. morning after Tuesday night's adventures & Rum... {except I did not BCI anyone~ THANK the GODS!!!!} in fact I got in "trouble" for NOT calling him... and driving home inebriated instead ...

this of course was After Officer Adams had let Jen & I go for headlight issues and my expired Driver's Lic. {because I refuse to get an AZ one ~ but I MUST}

"KHAUUUUUUUUNNNNN"

but I NEED {that f*ckin' word again}...to face the facts MAN...Just the Facts! 

...easier said then done as all things that matter are...

so tonight I get back to full exercise regime, as last week I was a wee bit lazy with my work out schedule..will make a few pieces of Jewelery ~ mother's day is coming up,

Fête des Mères est au-delà dur pour moi après la perte de Jake ... mais au lieu de la contourner complètement, comme je l'ai fait l'année dernière, je pense que je vais avoir ma mère {} et même frère pour le déjeuner et ensuite appeler un jour et un petit pas en avant ... Oui! qui est bon, je ne peux pas faire un repas complet avec skeloton maman et Jake juste encore ... peut-être l'année prochaine

ahhh oui .. d'être humain ....
d'avoir vécu la vie ....
parfois à toute la ...
et à des moments ...
échoué à beaucoup de choses qui sont chères à mon âme ...
...
mais je ne peux pas
ARRÊTEZ! La vie qui est ...
{.... même si je l'admets, j'ai essayé ...} ...

 I'll get some rest for tomorrow night's festivities as I am going dancing with a bunch of friends, should be VERY good times

to be had by ALL

Bonjour mon ami français ....

 Je jure que nous ne sommes pas tous idiots!!

Me....

On a GOOD day!!!

Enjoy her, I KNOW i do....

now off to finish my bottle of pino
wishing I could see them @ Coahchella!!!
They MOVE me... ......as I have asked the same EXACT question:
                                   "Things ain't good but things ain't boring"
...IT IS NOT ENOUGH!!!

Do you hear me???!??!?!??!?!!

mon seul véritable ami de nos jours

i will breathe FREELy one DAY with a full heart &  a FREE MIND!!!

néanmoins .... beaucoup d'amour votre chemin ...
XOOXOOX

What she said but REALLY it's about a Girl.....

more wine anyone.....?????....???????

word!

Hang in there Hosan

I'm pulling for you to make it out with YOUR heart and SOUL...

الألغام أيضا، من O.G.   LOL !!!!

في نوع الحوسني الطريقة .... أفكاري وصلواتنا معكم

or what they THINK you WANT to hear......

 not sure I am done VENTING...

so try and be patient with me...?!?!?!? If YOU can, maybe i can...

Peace OUT,

 for now...

not sure why I feel this way and yet....

  I DO.

 but I have a few ideas....