This time I ...

REALLY

FUCKED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.....no one but myself 
&
 NO ONE to BLAME but MYSelf.

"Now the standard cure for one who is sunk is to consider those in actual destitution or physical suffering—this is an all-weather beatitude for gloom in general and fairly salutary day-time advice for everyone. But at three o’clock in the morning, a forgotten package has the same tragic importance as a death sentence, and the cure doesn’t work—and in a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning, day after day."

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Crack-Up

 

MY NEW reality for a while I fear...

gods help me

 

I am: embarrassed,scared, feel weak

and 

full of fear
 

I am LOST.

but i will try to stay focused
 on the far... far away voice, i hear in my head

 "this too shall pass..."
 

just NOT SOON enough,
if you ask ME

NOT SOON ENOUGH