....I know it wasn't love, but it was LIKE, ..... Like a lot
and
if I am honest,
it was nice to FEEL again,
in all the ways a human wants to....
fuck! who am I kidding it was pretty cool to FEEL HUMAN again.
to be comfortable/at peace in another person's personal space .... again.
though
it didn't work I can see the value in the experience
and
it did work out, in a way.....
i am smarter,
a better lover,
a better listener,
a better partner,
than i have ever been before..... at least learned that!
which in the end is not ALL that Bad, no?
{epiphany as i type....}
No, not bad at all!!!
i have never been perfect,
nor have I really been driven by perfection
...{except when I make jewelery} ...
cause I find that when you do, ONLY strive for perfection for perfection's sake
one only guts one's self.....
death by a thousand cuts is the saying that comes to mind
BUT
this latest series of "life" events,
changes,
brushes with humanity both physically & mentally...
I proved to myself ~
beginning, middle & END.
that i REALLY have learned some "stuff" over the years
and
REALLY have become a better person.
I do like to improve,
improve on being a good human to those i love
& then some....
when I think like that,
your Girl did good !
sh*t just did not workout
but that, i am figuring out could all be part of the "plan"
WE shall see...
i just need to keep my head clear & heart open
and
make some shit...I always feel better when I make shit!
again,
WISH me luck, PLEASE?
puss puss for tonight!
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