Seriously.....

i am cursed in the "tryin' to be cool" dept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay Cliff Notes version:

deal is i broke up with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago...
it sucks most especially because I am going through some "shite" right now so it is even harder not to have someone who cares beside me/inside me...
and he was good
good with distracting me in the best of ways and also had the ability to be up lifting -- most of the time ~ which is the reason why we had been dating for the last 6+mos...
but that is not the point of THIS post...
the point of this post is ----
Because, I do NOT know how to use my iPHONE -- i just accidentally called him
some how
...mutha fucka
~ soooooooooooooooooooooooooo did not mean to
 and now of course
he thinks I am calling him randomly-
FAIL --- major fail
YES, I was bummed that he had not called, not touched base since we called it quits 2 wks ago
but
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKK
i sooo did not mean to call nor can i do anything about it NOW cause it will look just as bad...
YES i wanted to talk to him
BUT
i was trying to play it cool - play it off that it did not matter to me that we had not talked much less broke it off...
HENCE the NOT contacting him even though I wanted to
seriously
Universe,  WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME!?!??!??!?
clearly I need to be spoon fed!

im out