It's a Paulo day, again...

"Life is too short, or too long, for me to allow myself the luxury of living it badly"
                                                                                                            - Paulo Coelho

I am just Now really learning what this means...

and realizing that the last 2 years of loss/pain/introspection/change....

and now growth can be added to the list,I guess ...

very painful growth, but growth non the less.

NOW...

i am about to learn how true THIS is...

as I have just found out today that tomorrow is my last day work...!!!

I have just gone thru 2 crappy years of forced:

LOSS i.e. my son ~STILL too difficult to try to even type/think/dream/talk about.. and love.

CHANGE i.e. I had to MOVE from my beloved cardiff by the sea, CA were i had been for the last 14 years of my life back to God forsaken AZ;

GROWTH i.e. take some responsibility for some of my past-past/more recent past & present F*CK ups that i have made 

LEARNING i.e. Who I really am now after all of the fore mentioned & more but I choose not to even dig up those graves...as they are not what is holding me prisoner these days....

 NOW with this latest "change" in my life...i.e. NO more  job....

I feel I may have been given the chance to face what I think is my final HURDLE:

        FEAR 

...to do something I haven't done since I was YOUNG & FEARLESS... pick up and MOVE ~

 start nEW some where ... OUT THERE?!??!?????????

i am sure "it" isn't HERE (in AZ)!!!! in many more ways than one,...i have a few ideas of where "it" may be .... much to think about  

sooo

NO time LIKE the present!!

now, to figure out Where "it" is & start to DO what ever it takes to get "it" Done!!!!!!

enough of my lamenting...for now {doe eyes}

I am off to the shower as I am still blessed with wonderful friends, a few are going to take me out to keep my mind occupied; try and Cheer me up because of work...

still have to finish exercises before I go out so I need to chop chop!

smiles...well smirk really... but at least that's sumthin' timidly positive ?!?!???

OFF to go practice being Young & Fearless Again!!!

Ciao!!!