I am NOT a Tree ...

Unexpected day off so I guess I will use some of it to explain some of my cryptic posts of late {especially since "u" are just getting to know me, heck I'm still getting to know me.}

any hoo...lately there have been a lot of "signs" or moments  both Good, Bad & Mild {Work, Car, Where to Live/move, Love Life, Friends etc etc}, I guess I would term them as "Yield" or "Pump the Brakes" signs/warnings.

**Please note World: I AM taking the time and heeding them; reminding myself to "Keep Calm and Carry On" - which really means for me: SHUT the FUCK UP and listen/absorb to what is happening to AND around you ~ THINK Before you DO, but DO SOMETHING!!!!!!

change can feel so chaotic, ironically it is at these times  that I make a List, my lovely lists, when I am trying & apply some kind of "logic or order" to my chaos so I can attempt to make my decisions with a CLEARER mind ...

*My job it seems is ending soon (though just got GREAT news  

 that they "found" some money & I can stay for an additional 

 month or so which takes me thru Nov ~ phew for now!)

*My Lease is up in Mid Dec. so I have to move. I HATE, no  
 LOATH Arizona; I always have, even when I was knee high 
 to a grass hopper growing up here ~ nothing has changed...
 unless I can move up North to Flagstaff, which is doubtful 
 but i know this ~ I just cannot stay here any longer much  
 less through another summer!!! 

*This is the 1st time in 16 years that I am sans kid, 
 sans lover, sans career goal, sans plan... mais pas sans rêves

For all of these reason and so many more...now may be the time to move back home to Cali! 

If i was forced to be honest, I never really left, it took me 10 months just to decorate my house here in AZ (except for Jake's rooms & the bathroom) when we 1st moved here, I still have my Cali plates & license...and when I went home this summer, each time I felt like I had never left. Making the long drives back to "hell" oh I mean AZ, were more than a girl could stand.. {thank the gods i was able to take my good times & a rockin' tan home with me each time}.

I have asked a good friend of mine if I can rent out an extra room he has- not exactly the best set up but not the worst either as I can keep CeCe & Chocolate with me. Ill have to down size a lot of my "things" but there are worse things - {like staying in AZ}. The house is not too far from the beach which is imperative if I move back to Cali, I can afford a room in and would rather do that than have an apt here in AZ where I am more than miserable...


If I have to find a new job I would rather do it there...I mean if I am gonna end up slicing meat at Ralph's I'd rather have a beach to go to on my days off rather than the "nothing" that is AZ.  I can see that many people are very happy here in AZ; there is good music, there are a few really awesome places to go out, plus I still do have some VERY good friends here but it is not enough...

Again, unexpected: I have come to realize that even my skeletons I had here are done dancing with me, allowing all of us to move on and be free

reminding me