Wow almost feels good just typing it ... still too scared to actually say it, but It has been in my head for longer than i would like to admit.
Change = Unknown and Unknown = Scared Me {used = excited me} but these last few years, well there is no easy way to say it, but I have been a Chicken Shit, as my "lovely" Father would holler!!!
Consequence of being a chicken shit = I have made some UBER shitty decisions, these last few years. Some decisions, that I deeply regret; felt like i "HAD" to make but NOW i see that My OWN fears are what actually shackled & blinded ME to my faulty logic + skewed perspective = Bad Decisions made by ME.
Bring on the smart Quote to make all of us {me} feel better:
In order for us to liberate the energy of our strength,our weakness must first have a chance to reveal itself * Paulo Coelho
I am learning {for real} that once we give into your fears and let go of thinking I can Control/Know what will happen ... It makes things clearer -- NOT easier {oh how I wish} though I guess when I am asked to sacrifice in the coming months, and I KNOW I WILL, it will be clearer to me why I have done what I have... for once in a very long time, it will be something i did for me
* the Irony of who/where I got this quote is more than I can express but proves to me that all is possible {for all of us}
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